Talking Nutrition

#73 - Monday Motivation - Breaking Negative Self-Talk & Tackling Life's Curveballs

September 18, 2023 Kristine Andali & Johan Vesters
Talking Nutrition
#73 - Monday Motivation - Breaking Negative Self-Talk & Tackling Life's Curveballs
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode Johan helps you overcome negative self-talk, take ownership of what's within your control, and get unstuck, even when just about everything seems to work against you.

In contrary to the clickbait-y claims you read/see/hear on social media, and in mainstream media... the stuff that works in nutrition and fitness is simple.

Simple... but not easy.

Changing your habits, breaking unhealthy behavior patterns, creating a strong growth mindset IS hard. But that doesn't mean you can't reach your goals. It just means that in order to reach your goals, you're going to have to put in the time, patience, and effort that's required to reach those goals.

Enjoy this 'not-your-typical-Monday-Motivation' episode, and feel free to DM @johanvesters_ocs with any follow-up questions, feedback, or suggestions for future episodes.

0:00 Introduction -  Monday Motivation
12:01 Negative Self-talk
15:38 Changing Habits & Breaking Behavior Patterns
19:52 When Life Throws You a Curveball
28:56 Take Control of the Situation, Everything is Figureoutable

**This episode is brought to you by Odyssey Coaching Systems**

Let's connect!
IG: @talkingnutritionpodcast
IG: @johanvesters_ocs
IG: @kristineandali

Johan Vesters:

What is up and welcome back to Talking Nutrition today's episode 73. Time flies when you're having fun, right? It's going pretty fast with the double episodes and we're loving it. So we just kicked off our September challenge and recording. This Thursday at 5 pm. We are actually going to go live 7 pm Today for our Q&A. Basically what we're doing is we do live trainings every single week and we have people submit questions based on basically the topic of the week. So we start with movement and exercise, then the second week is going to be all things nutrition and a week three is kind of like just ask me anything. And because we have a ton of people I think it's almost 40 people in the challenge, maybe 37, 38, I would have to double check but obviously a bunch of different people have a bunch of different questions, you know. Now I figured let's just share that with you. So, just so you know, this Thursday I will be sharing the Q&A recording of our September challenge. The first one is going to be all things movement, training, recovery, etc. It kind of depends on the questions. You know Got a lot of good ones already and then the next week after that it's going to be nutrition and then after we're going to do another Q&A, just kind of like a general. You know, ask me anything. So looking forward to sharing that with you as well. Now, today I wanted to do something different, a bit of a motivational Monday, something I've never really done and it's not really going to be one of those, you know, inspirational, you know rants where you feel fired up and maybe you do, but it's a little different. I'm big on real talk, you know. I'm big on just kind of like sharing how things really go and, you know, not necessarily like sugarcoating it, not like making things sound better than they are or easier or whatever it is, because, let's be honest, it's whole nutrition and fitness and lifestyle optimization and lifestyle change thing. It's difficult, let's be honest. There's a lot of stuff that's very basic. There's a lot of stuff that's really basic building healthy meals, very basic, you know, going for walks, lifting weights, etc. A lot of basic stuff. If you think about it, it's actually very simple, but simple is not easy. I'm going to break this down in a couple sections. I want to share a journal entry in mind from a couple days ago Because for transparency, you know, we all need to do our things to work through stuff and for me that's you know I like journaling every single day, a little bit of meditation as well. I think we need that stillness in our lives and it's really helped me work through a lot of stuff and currently it's really fucking busy. And at the time this recording, I'm officially at capacity with my one-on-one client, so I'm currently not taking on any new one-on-one clients for September. October. We may open up five more spots, but they will fill up as well. So the thing about coaching, by the way, you probably want to start reaching out, maybe for October, or to get on the waiting list or potentially get into the group Program if you're a little bit more experienced already. But just so you know, currently at capacity, which is, of course, good news, and we are currently looking for our second coach, which is very exciting to you. So, by the way, I know there's some coaches listening to this podcast as well. So, hey, if you're looking for work, we're looking for a coach. I already have my eyes on a few people. You know a couple of candidates, but hey, let me know, Reach out, hit me up on Instagram, let's have a talk. Do a quick call right Now. That being said, I'm working a lot, just like you listening, I also have a lot of stress, a lot of things to handle, a lot of things on my plate, which I'm very grateful for. Obviously, it's what I choose, but it doesn't mean that it's not sometimes stressful, and I also need to work through these kind of things and I sometimes hit roadblocks as well. So I wanted to share with you what has worked for me. So a quick journal entry. After that we can get into negative self-talk Probably going to be a little bit briefer. And then what to do when change is difficult. Right, when you go through that friction, we step outside of your comfort zone. Like, how do you deal with the setbacks? Because, let's be honest, you know things will happen and things will come up and you're going to have to keep showing up. So let's talk about that too. Then we'll talk about what if life completely just throws you off, throws you a curveball, and it completely just fucks with your plans? What do you do? And that'll do a little bit of a recap and a couple of quotes that I did want to share, that I do really like, and it's maybe less motivational stuff, right, but more like real shit. Let's get into it. Also, as always, if you like these episodes, if you're enjoying talk and nutrition, drop me a quick five-star rating on Apple's Spotify revenue listening. I don't even know if the other podcast platforms have like a rating system, but either way, if you're on YouTube, like the videos, comment, hey, submit questions, do whatever you want to do, subscribe, right, support us because, as always, right, we're doing this for free. We love doing this stuff and it's just really cool to interview different people from the space on different topics and just like that we get to learn together and I really like that. That's probably one of the things that I love the most about nutrition and this whole coaching thing is always something new and it's exciting. We can really dive deeper ultimately to help people get healthy, and that's really like just literally the cool shit. So, anyway, enough of a intro ramble. Already, six and a half minutes in or six. Now let's start with this motivational stuff. Right? I think a lot of people like you've seen them, the motivational clips where there is like a very fucking how do you say like a victorious kind of like music in the background. It sounds like super epic. And then you hear motivational speaker talk and have a little clip and it's like yeah, fuck, yeah, and people share it and you see the fire emojis in the hundreds and the high fives and I get it sure. I do watch those clips sometimes and I'm like, yeah, it kind of did fire me up and that's OK, not saying that it's not OK to share those kind of things. Or you see people share the quotes and those kind of things. That's like I do like that kind of stuff from time to time. But here's the thing More often than not, it kind of like that's it. It doesn't go anywhere beyond just the quick reshare or the quick fire emoji. There's no action after that, and that's one of the main things here today. We're going to talk about action. Right, we can always do something about the situation. You can always do something about the situation, and when you are someone who's struggling or you're looking for motivation or whatever it may be, you're going through a rough patch. You're going through a time where you know you do have a hard time Changing your habits. You're you're just getting into this fat loss thing or fitness or muscle gain whatever, and you're having a hard time. Right, know that there's always something you can do to figure it out. Let me take a quick sip of water. I'm not sick anymore, but I'm still a little stuffy, so Excuse me, cool. So, that being said, I was going through a little bit of a Stressful morning, I guess, or stressful day personally. I want to share what I wrote because there's always like you can always go back to what you know works for you. But, like, maybe in the beginning it's it's like you don't know what that is yet, but once you've done is a little bit, and whether it's work related, fitness, whatever health mindset, you can always go back to, kind of like the basics, going back to what you know works for you and what you know can help you figure stuff out and then take it from there. So for me personally, that's usually my journal for people watching on YouTube, a little journal here I'm. Meditation. Going for a walk is also great, for that Gets gets a blood flow and gets a brain working, you know okay. So so this is basically what I, what I wrote. This is September 11. So there's no need to stress about anything if you think about. This is when I was stressed. Right, I Said there's no need to stress about anything if you think about it, because there's literally always a solution and you can always fix it right, you can always improve it. But that solution, the answer, it always lies within, right within you, in your own head, in between your own ears, and I think we forget sometimes, I Think we sometimes forget that the answer, that the solution is like, right here, you know it is. It's just that we, we, sometimes we we get too emotional, we get too right, we, we give in to the stress, the anxiety, the emotion, whatever it is, and guess what? We, we forget to think logically, we forget to slow down. And I'm not saying right. So this is obviously. I'm sharing what works for me, what I've seen work with many, many kinds over the years. But Obviously there's always gonna be stuff that just straight up fucking sucks, and that's right, that's life, and we'll talk about that a little bit more in a sec. But that doesn't mean, right, that we can't do anything about the situation. We always decide how we respond to the situation and as much as we can't push away feelings of stress, anxiety, whatever it is, being sad, being pissed off, whatever it is, we can still do the thing, or we can at least make an effort Of doing the thing that we know Helps us slow down, helps us get some stillness Again. Meditation, journaling for me those are the biggest ones go on a walk, whatever may be sitting outside, going out of nature, whatever, maybe right, doing those things like making a point of slowing down and doing that stuff that we can always do. And you'll see that more often than not, all of a sudden, you slow down, you calm down and you get to to think things through a little bit Better, at least not gonna say those feelings are not gonna be there anymore. But at least, as I told myself In my journal, right, that like you can always find that solution, just maybe not when you're stressed to fuck out and you're like freaking out, you know, or you're anxious, whatever. So let's start with negative self-talk, because I'm I'm pretty good at that, honestly, but it just, you know, be sharing stuff here today, no, but like I'm serious though I'm serious, I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about it. I'm serious though I'm serious, I can be a little hard on myself and for for many things I Feel like I've done that throughout this coaching career, throughout maybe my fitness journey, especially in the beginning. But I Talk about this a lot with my clients too, right, and we all have our tools to work through things. But when we are going through Change, when we are working on stuff that is meant to Be a positive change to our lives, to our mindset or health, to whatever it is relationships, when we are looking to create positive change, how the hell do we try or do we expect sorry, how the hell do we expect to achieve that through a negative approach? And I posted this a little while ago On on Facebook and got a comment from someone, or he messaged me. He said yo, this one was a little bit too real for me. I Told him like hey, that's all good, you know, like most of these, because I I do these a little quote sometimes where it's just me like rambling, I just throw it on Facebook or on my Instagram stories and he was a yeah, this, this one was very real. But then I was like you know, most of them just talking to myself here, right, it's almost like a public journal, but anyway, just kind of like a mind-bump, you know. But I said like negative self-talk, like how the hell Do you expect to bully yourself into positive change like it's it's literally is not a thing. It does not work. It does not work and we need to catch ourselves when we do so. And it's a classic thing, right where you, you think of it from your friend's perspective, right, I like to do that one sometimes, or I like to recommend that one sometimes. Okay, look, would you talk to your friend like this? Or right, probably not. Okay, fair. Now, why the fuck do you talk so negative to yourself? You know what I mean. And again, like I'm very guilty of this, right, very guilty of this, and I'm also working on it, but, as you, as a consultant, good place, we want to do well, right, and we beat ourselves up for fucking up again and again. But let's be honest too. And then let's just go into, like the you know, creating change and what it can be hard. Let's say we struggle with Little bit of depression and what do you actually want to call it actual depression or just we're in it, not a great place, whatever, it is right, we're not in a good spot. We we feel unhealthy, maybe a little overweight, whatever it is, maybe we sleep like shit. It's just like we're in a state where we need change and we really want to step it up for our own health Excuse me a little bit of water again. So we really want to step up for on health and we know we need to change something. So you reach out, right. You sign up for the program, you Call up to coach or whatever it is. You ask your friends for help, whatever you want to do. You sign up to the gym. You're like ready, right. You're like okay, let's do this, guess what let's. Let's briefly talk about what a habit is right, because anyone stand this one. A habit is something that you just do. It's you don't even realize really, it's something that's so ingrained in in your way of doing, thinking, whatever, that you don't even realize that you do these kind of things. And if you'll hear me say like right, or you know which, I do A lot and I try to pay attention to it, like that's a habit, it's hard to break. If you have had years of unhealthy habits, whether it's food related or maybe just, you know, not working out or not moving as much or whatever maybe, or just a certain behavior that we know doesn't really serve us well, but we've always kind of done Years and years and years of behaviors and habits, years of your brain solidifying those connections. Because that's why it's a habit, initially, when you try something new, initially, when you try something new, it's weird, uncomfortable, you have to figure out. Your brain literally needs to create new connections for it to really stick. That's why, on day one, with tracking for example, whatever it is going to the gym, it's really fucking annoying because we've never done it before and it feels awkward. But Over time, once again, like I just said, your brain like solidifies those connections. So all of a sudden it starts to connect and it becomes a stronger connection and then we can really right, see the change become easier and we notice change being easier and we Notice new habits kind of show up, right and just like that. We also need to slowly Remove ourselves from old habits and it takes time. So of course, after years and years and years of habits and behaviors, of course it's gonna be difficult to you know, to change that. Of course it is, and Of course it's gonna take time. Of course it's gonna take effort. Of course you're gonna fuck off sometimes and that is okay, Because what else can you do other than just trying again. Do we really think that after many, many years of struggling or many years of just kind of like not caring. I've been there, right, I definitely gonna care about my health. For, you know, 22 years, for 22 years of my life, I was maybe not say my, my, you know, when I was kid, but let's say, from like my teens right, like 14, really, yeah, 14 to 22, I did not give a fuck about my health. So I was there too and that needed to change, which I did when I was 22, through a lot of trial and error, made a lot of mistakes, fell for a lot of things that a lot of people struggle with these days too. But I figured it out, but it wasn't a week or a month or whatever. That's what we forget, because you still see the six pack in six weeks, the, the fat loss challenges, the, you know the four week programs, whatever it is, what do you think to achieve in four weeks? It's really not gonna be that much, and that's why we only do six months with our people right, with our one-on-one coaching at six months at the minimum. Because, quite frankly, if we struggle with nutrition habits, whatever health, we really need to change it like it's got to take more than half a year at least, and that's the reality. And you know, we get that question to something take and we just do three months, whatever it is. I mean like yeah, we could, but then like how long it takes For you to actually go through all the phases, like that's, that's not gonna change, you know what I mean. And then people are like, oh yeah, fair enough, and then we do six months anyway, and then they're happy. But anyway, while joking aside, of course it's gonna take time. Of course, if we've done things a certain way for many, many years, we better be a little patient with ourselves and we cannot be too hard on ourselves either, cause it's okay to feel like shit. Let me say this too it's okay to feel like shit and unhappy, and whatever it is, with your current state, but it's not okay to not do something about. It is not okay, because here's the thing Life will throw like a curve ball or two or three or 20 at you, 100% all the time, and you might have the perfect plan and you might feel like, hey, I'm really going to make this work this time, just eating healthy thing. Well, guess what? Life usually has a few other plans for you and it might go for, you know well, for a while, but then maybe at some point, like you, bump into something again, a roadblock, whatever, and then you're going to have to figure it out again. But there's always stuff outside of your control that's going to go different. Now, guess what? Guess what we should do then, little sip of water again, guess what we should do when things outside of control mess up our plans. Probably not spend a whole lot of time worrying about what's outside of control. We can always bring it back to what's within our control. To give you an idea and this is maybe not necessarily something outside of my control, it's technically within my control, but it's been crazy with work, I took my training down, and lunch I took my nutrition down, and lunch I just kind of maintained for a little while and then I'll say you know what, I want to dial it in again. So I started to go to the gym again, I started to track my food again, I started meal prepping again and guess what Feel much better. I lost a bunch of weight when I did the mini cut. I kind of want to share a little bit more about that, but then I had to cut it short because of COVID. But anyway, long story short, you can always bring it back to what you can control, and that's the thing we tend to blame just about everything and everyone for our issues. But what's that going to do? Actually, nothing at all, and we sometimes maybe do it to hopefully feel better about the situation, or we think that maybe, but it's not really going to help in any way. So let's focus on the things that are within your control. I just had a talk with a client last week or this week and they basically they had like a side gig and they were told okay, it's going to stop, basically. So now they are missing a chunk of their income, which is tough, really tough. She really kind of struggling to pay the bills and those kind of things. If that's not there, that sucks Absolutely. I'm not going to shoot her, cause it. But should we then use that as a reason to say oh, you know what? I'm not going to check my food. I'm not going to go to the gym, by the way, right, not just tracking? Okay, fuck, healthy food, I'm just going to eat unhealthy shit. I'm going to eat pizza, hamburgers every single day, every single meal, candy, whatever, which is not the case right here. Obviously, she knows what she's doing, but I'm just saying right, that's an example, just generally speaking. If something like that happens and you allow that to them be a reason, right, the stuff that's out of control to influence basically what you do, and let that be a reason for you to kind of just let go of what you know is actually good for you, then we are purposely making it worse, and we know that. And again, we tend to think that it fixes the situation or it makes us feel better, and maybe in the moment it does, maybe it feels better in the moment to not think about tracking, not going to the gym, not eating healthy. Hey, maybe you know what, like, I'm not even going to go to bed early, I'll just, you know, watch, binge watch, like Netflix or something. We think that that's a solution. We probably do feel better in the moment, but it never lasts. What it usually does, it makes things worse. It really does so instead, and this is why, in the beginning, I said like it's not easy. You know, we're emotional beings and we tend to not make the best decisions when we are emotional, but at least when we can catch ourselves and when you do and you forge yourself to sit down and slow down and get some stillness and actually work through stuff. You can stop yourself and say, hey, you know what this sucks Absolutely, but you directly cannot influence that. You literally can't. And like, let's use this as an example, right, where someone tells you, hey, you're being laid off, okay, shit. Well, you can't really force someone to give you work basically Not here, at least where I live, but then I know of. But you get the point right. So that's not something you can change. Let's not focus on things we can do and I know I'm talking work in this case, but you can also look at nutrition. Right, there's always something you can do. Let's bring it back to what you can do, to tracking your food, eating healthy and maybe not even tracking like just eating healthy, sticking to your meal framework where you have your protein, carbs, fats and color, drinking your water, getting some steps in going for a walk, meditation, journaling, sleeping well, whatever it may be, whatever you can do for that moment. Because here's the thing as much as the situation might suck, we can then still do the thing that at least allows our body to be in a better spot and we're not throwing fuel on the fire. We're making the situation better because we still show up for ourselves and we still take care of our own body, which we know is going to influence how you feel your mind and at least it's going to make the situation better. And guess what? When you feel better and you show yourself that you can still show up and you can prove that you can still keep going even when you are met with friction, even when life throws a curveball at you, you get more confident. You believe more in your own ability to actually work through shit. You're way more likely to then go ahead and try to fix that situation, whatever that may be. And I've talked about the process and I honestly can't remember if this was on a podcast or Instagram. But the process is hey, we need to do the thing, but then we need to collect the information, collect the feedback, the data, to then make objective decisions and then we can look for solutions or we can ask for help, et cetera. That's the process. And I think when we catch ourselves and we focus on the things we can do, we focus on the process, we focus on the figuring out stuff. We can work through it. Example two, let's stick to this example where you're being laid off. Let's say, tomorrow you get that call. Hey, you don't need you anymore at work. Okay, fuck, that really sucks, but it doesn't mean that, whatever field you're in, it does not mean that you cannot pick up your phone and call every single company in your field, in your country or in your area. You can still do that. You're likely going to get a bunch of notes, but hey, maybe there's a yes somewhere, and even if not, then you still tried and then you could look at alternatives if it really doesn't work out. You can do the same thing with emails. You can do the same thing with help ask around, like ask everyone. You know, hey, do you know a temporary job you could pick? There's always something you can do, but you have to do something about it. Like I said in my journal, there's actually really no reason to stress about stuff. If you think about it, you could always find the solution. You could always find the answer inside of your own head. But we do need to dig for it and find it and we do need to push ourselves to slow down and look for it. And this is a quote from Casey Joe, who was on our podcast, did her course a little while ago with Christine and she says everything is figureoutable, which I love. I don't even know if that's a really word, but it's stuck. You know, like everything is figureoutable, it doesn't matter how difficult it is, literally everything is figureout. Let's say almost everything. I'll take that back Always everything is figureoutable, pretty much everything is figureoutable, even if you don't think so. Slow down, try not to be in that emotional state and then try again. Try to figure it out. You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised what you can come up with and you'd be surprised how easy sometimes the solution can be. Action alleviates anxiety. This is one that helped me quite a bit through the ups and downs of business, and that's a quote from Baderos Cullian. Again, action alleviates anxiety. It really does. We can feel stressed about something, we can feel anxious, whatever it is, but when you take action and you do something about it, that goes away, because then you realize that you are still in control. Again, it brings me to the end of my notes. Focus on the process, guys. Focus on the process. Be sure to be okay. Sometimes, with Things being low, it'll sucky, things not being fun, that's cool, it's fine, we all have that. I always compare this to weight loss. Everything is up and down. If you weigh your salad every single day which I recommend to all my clients do you'll see that graph, right, your weight graph going up and down all the time. It's normal and that's why we track your average. But anyway, I compare that right Life to that finances, to that business, friendships, whatever it is. How you feel. It's always up and down. We're gonna have, you know, high days, so great days. We're gonna have shitty days every now and then, and we're gonna have a whole lot in between. But as long as the trends are moving in the right direction, depending on the situation, you know whether that's up or down, or you know what I mean fast or slow or whatever. If the trends are moving in the right direction, we're good. So try to zoom out like that too, because having a shitty moment does not mean that you have a shitty day. Having a shitty day does not mean that you have a shitty week. Having a shitty week does not mean that you have a shitty month. Right, and having a shitty month does not mean that you have a shitty life. You could always do something about it, but we do need to sometimes stop and not be so hard on ourselves, Not be so feeling sorry for ourselves, but just taking action on stuff, being that person who steps up and says, you know like, yeah, it sucks, but I'm still gonna do my best by focusing on what's within my control. That's it for my Monday Motivation Ramble. Thank you for listening. Just wanted to riff on a couple of things that helped me, that helps my clients, and I think we can all do with a little bit of real talk. You know, I think we can all do with a little bit of motivation. That's not your fire emoji quote, whatever, you know, no real shit. So this week let's get to work and if you enjoyed this episode, do me a massive favor. Shoot me a quick message on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you if you like this stuff. I'd love to hear from you if you have any other questions. Maybe there's something you struggle with. Hey, I'd love to do another Q and A pretty soon. Let me know. Maybe you have a topic to submit, literally like anything. If you're still listening, go to Instagram, message me at your investors, underscore OCS. You say what's up, let's have a great week. Cool, I'll talk to you soon.

Introduction - Monday Motivation
Negative Self-talk
Changing Habits & Breaking Behavior Patterns
When Life Throws You a Curveball
Take Control of the Situation, Everything is Figureoutable